Sweater Party

I went to a sweater party yesterday.  You know, one of those parties where you wear the tackiest Christmas sweater you can find.  So, first of all the sweaters were AWESOME.  Candice (roommate) had a big bulky black sweater that she got from her mom's closet of all places.  It had Christmas Trees and Santa's all across the front and she took some LED lights and poked them through the sweater so the trees lit up (had a battery pack and all).  Very cool!  I had these red and green earrings with santa's on them, a light up necklace, and a horrendous green sweater vest on.  Nate's (other roommate) was a blue vest with an entire Nativity Scene embroidered on it.  So, first, picture all of us dressed up.

Classic.

We decided to take "family" photo's in front of the Christmas tree before we left.  So Candice cracks a beer, Nate's got Emma (Candice's dog) in his lap with this elf hat on that she HATES and keeps trying to scratch off her head, and I've got Bella (yes, my cat) in my lap who hates being held and keeps trying to claw her way out of my arms.  So she sets the timer to take 10 photo's at a time, and they turned out AWESOME!  

Then we went to the party.

So, when we get there Keal (the party thrower and Nate's old college roommate) was finishing hanging the Christmas lights outside.  So he rounds everyone up and we're all standing outside and, no kidding, we do the drumroll and he plugs in the lights like the Griswolds.  It was awesome. It didn't work at first and he starts kicking stuff and then
checks a plus and they finally come on and someone starts singing "Jooooy to the woooorld."  Ahhaa!!

So he's cooking as everyone's mingling and what not.  He has a ham, a turkey, and everyone else brought sides.  He has the ham and turkey in the oven and decides they're done, so he takes them out to put in the potatoes.  Well, the turkey's not done.  He tries to put it back into the oven but it's in one of those flimsy, disposable silver trays and the juice goes everywhere.  In a gas stove.  Flames were licking the CEILING they were so tall!  But he was so calm and collected, he just grabbed the turkey, slowly put it on the top of the stove, and shut the door so the fire would go out.  FIRE!  3 foot flames!  Took all the hair off his arms and set off every smoke alarm in the house.  It smelled AWFUL!  Funny after it was done, but awful.

So, that happened.  Then he put the sides in to start getting warm.  He has the potatoes and the green bean casserole in there, heating at 350, for about an hour.  Turns out what he THOUGHT was the green bean casserole was actually this girls frosted red velvet cake she brought over.  Oh man.  So all the frosting melted off and the bottom burnt so badly we couldn't get it out.

And now it's time to eat and the green bean casserole is in a metal tin, and cold.  And the cake is edible, but burnt.  And he has no hair on his arms.  And the house is still filled with smoke and now it's freezing because all the doors and windows are open.

It turned out great.  16 people all sitting at a long table passing rolls and scooping potatoes and what not.  Candice starts quoting the Christmas Vacation movie "They want you to say GRAAAAACE!"  "I pledge allegiance, to the flag..."

It was classic. 

Rockstar woes...

I am completely ridiculous today.  Never, ever go out with your night-job-bartender roommate and try to stick to a self-imposed curfew.  2 ex's 3 bars 4 shots and who knows how many beers later I ended up at the G&S Lounge taking more shots at 2am.  Never a good idea.  Ever.  I'm assuming that's what made an egg sandwich at 3am sound amazing.  And it's also was what dulled my senses just enough for me to leave my fingerprint on the handle of a pan I grabbed... 

I didn’t set my alarm last night so I woke up at 8 this morning to my poor roommate knocking on the door – we locked the top lock and he couldn’t get in so he had to sleep in his car.   

So, in short, I’m the totally-hungover-singed-ready-in-5-minutes version of me today.  Last night was a stupidity compounded upon ex's and alcohol. 

Revived

I have a revive vitamin water from the heb and it has a little note on it that made me giggle:

HEY!!! HOW’S IT GOIN? IS THIS TOO LOUD FOR YOU?? OH SORry! there. better? well, let us be the first to say there’s no shame in starting your day well after breakfast… or brunch… or lunch. we’re all been there: last night’s outfit doubled as last night’s pj’s, and finding your cell phone, keys and wallet (with credit card inside!) was a huge relief. On days like these we recommend hydrating with this bottle. It’s got b vitamins and potassium, some of your body’s best friends when it needs them the most. And don’t worry, you didn’t text you-know-who. Well you didn’t text them that. (ok, maybe you did.)

Missing Missy

Missing Missy --> funniest thing I've read in a LONG time!

Unsolicited yet greatly appreciated advice...

31 things I wish I'd known about dating when I was 21

At 31, dating blogger Erin Meanley looks back and shares 31 dating truths she wishes she had known ten years earlier when she was 21:

I never realized how many opinions I have about dating. I've been dating so long I'm like an octogenarian who feels overly strong about what strawberries should cost or how children should act in public. Anyway, here are some things I've learned in my 31 years, and what I wish I'd known about dating ten years ago:

1. If you're confused about whether a guy likes you or not, that's probably not good. Confusion in romance belongs only in romantic comedies because it suspends the plot, but suspense in real life sucks. So try not to analyze the events. The truth will reveal itself without you having to do anything.

2. Sometimes guys flirt with you or pay attention to you because it makes them feel good about themselves. (Hey, we do it, too.)

3. Even a guy who will admit that you're better looking than him should still be able to tell you you're beautiful. If he holds back in order to control the situation, or to keep you, or keep you down, he's got issues.

4. Don't help him ask you out by texting him something nice or polite. I'm glad you're more outgoing and thoughtful than he is, but he doesn't want the help.

5. Guys want to get busy more than anything. They'll say anything to close the deal.

6. It's shocking how much guys will talk about marriage. Until there's a ring on your finger, it will be better for you if you pretend you're deaf.

7. It's better not to lift a finger in the beginning.

8. In the early stages, giving him presents is too much. Generosity looks desperate to guys. You may be a great shopper and gift-wrapper; it may be his birthday and you may be wild about birthdays — even still, he'll think you're just wild about him. Too wild.

9. Guys just do not think like girls. I wish I'd had a brother. Real boys are nothing like the boys in movies.

10. They might take a decade to mature. Don't hope they'll grow up or be ready in the next six months.

11. Even if your family thinks there's going to be a marriage, don't let them spoil your guy. Yes, he's grateful you gave him your car when he moved out of NYC, but he would rather have had to work for it.

12. Learn to cook. Learn to cook well. I see now that it would have won me a lot of points. A LOT.

13. Just because he might be smarter than you or more talented at certain things doesn't mean he's your servant and won't mind doing all your homework/research/chores.

14. Guys get resentful, too.

15. You're special, unique, and important, but you're not a princess — no matter what Daddy says (although for the record, my dad calls me "Erin").

16. It's okay to say no. It's more than okay. It's always okay. If he stops calling (and many, many, many will), you're only weeding out the guys who aren't truly interested in you as a person. Time saved!

17. Playing it safe guarantees you'll have more time and energy to think about your grades or your work. Less drama in your life will always be better and healthier for you.

18. You deserve to be treated like a human being.

19. Your wants and needs are just as important as his, and if you don't express them because you think it will scare him away, then you're saying you don't count as much as he does.

20. Even sophisticated people with professional jobs can have tempers or hit you or use foul language. I've known men who dressed like diplomats but they were ugly human beings.

21. You can't force chemistry. If you like him as a friend, the attraction might grow, but if it doesn't, don't force it. And don't waste his time.

22. Ease up on the sauce. Alcohol clouds your judgment.

23. No boyfriend-girlfriend relationship starts with a 1 a.m. booty text.

24. When a guy has taken you to Applebee's five times and you say you want to treat him, he'll be psyched. But secretly he'll freak out if you take him to Ruth's Chris, even just the one teeny time. Don't try to match him one Ruth's Chris for five Applebee's. Take him out, but go to T.G.I. Friday's.

25. Women love attention. A guy needs to be pretty crazy about you in order for him to pay enough attention to make you happy long-term.

26. My mom always said, "Men don't think." I thought she meant, "They are mistaken in their thoughts." But they're just not thinking anything at all. About you. They're watching the game. That's why they haven't called.

27. There should be a medium ground between workaholism and his absolute devotion. "The knight departing for new adventures offends his lady, yet she has nothing but contempt for him if he remains at her feet" (Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 658).

28. Never underestimate the quality of "interesting." Men want someone interesting. They really do. Find some hobbies.

29. What are you hoping to gain by hooking up with this guy? If the answer is "him," that's a bad deal for you. "The woman gives herself, the man adds to himself by taking her" (de Beauvoir 659).

30. Expectations? They'll ruin every dating experience you have.

31. You will never understand men. Just try to understand yourself.

Only in my dreams...

Weird dreams last night! I didn't sleep much because of a headache. I finally took some advilPM about 3, delayed out of pure laziness.

Anyway, I dreamt about Romeo and Juliet and what would have happened had romeo seen her hands twitching when she was waking up, instead of them both committing suicide in the end. Turns out she was kind of a slut and he's gay. Who knew!!

So weird...

worst week

Let’s start with Tuesday of last week.  I have a dinner party with my cousin (in from out of the COUNTRY) and a bunch of my family.  My sink clogs.  Sucks.  I call the complex that next day, Wednesday, and she puts in a maintenance request.  It’s nasty, too.  I was having to wash dishes in my bath tub and there’s 3 inches of standing water in my sink.  It stunk.  Gnarly.  So I’m already irritated when I go into work on Thursday after coming home Wednesday night and my sink was still clogged.  I call, they’re working on emergencies so they couldn’t get to it that day.  Awesome.  I have a dinner party (small, but STILL!) that night and have to warn them that my sink is nasty and to please turn a blind eye to it.  So Friday I come into work CONFIDENT that they’re going to fix my sink.  I get home that night and the damn sink is still clogged.  I call the office to figure out what in the world is going on that they can’t unclog my nasty ass sink, and the same girl answers and tells me their (still) working on emergencies. 

Bull. 

So I called their corporate management company and filed a complaint.  No one, of course, has called me back (still) and when I get home my sink is still clogged.  This is the night I’m having a date over for dinner.  I’m pissed.  I'm just so frustrated that I want to burn my apartment complex down.  My sink is still clogged.  And then my date calls…  “um, it’s raining and I don’t have a window on my Jeep (IDIOT!) so I wanted to see if you wanted to maybe possibly change plans and go out for dinner instead…

… but you’d have to come pick me up in Hutto.” 

WTF?!

Thanks but no thanks. 

Sink is still clogged. 

I took a bath, killed a bottle of wine, and went to bed. 

So I get up and go to the HEB on Saturday and get the stuff to make the chicken salad for Kierstin’s baby shower (which took 2 hours, not 30 minutes like the stupid recipe said!!) I was volunteered to help with, made it in my stinky kitchen with the clogged sink (did I mention my sink was clogged for a week?), and drank mimosa’s and sangria wine while preparing my 30-mionute meal.  My dad finally came over (FROM SAN MARCOS!!!) and plunged the crap out of my sink and cleared it up for me on Saturday afternoon.  Thank goodness for Daddies!!! 

So I go to the shower and when I left I went straight to the Ranchetta in Thorndale.  Which was great.  Perfect.  Wonderful.  Saturday night at a German Pub, Sunday on 4-wheelers and shooting guns and a bonfire.  Perfection.  Exactly what I needed after those last couple days.  So I leave the Ranchetta around, I dunno, 7 or 8 or so, after bing on the ranch for a day and a night, smelling like a campfire and sweating beer.  I get home and can’t wait to just get a shower and go to bed. 

My hot water was off.  Again.  4th time in 2 months. 

I could have killed someone. 

So at this point my complex still thinks my sink is clogged in my kitchen and now the hot water is off a-freakin'-gain. 

I think I’m a poster child for Murphy’s Law. 

I sent a letter via certified mail to the national corporate management office, the regional management office, the actual apartment complex, and the owner of the actual building (from the county appraisal district website) who hired a management company because he doesn’t want to deal with issues like this. 

They finally came yesterday to unclog my sink after thinking it was clogged with food and 3-inches of water for more than a week.  Awesome effort there guys, thanks for that.